THE FAMILY/BUSINESS OVERLAP is a central concept in the study of
family-owned businesses. Simply stated, when family members work together in or
share ownership of a business, it is virtually impossible for the business to function
independently of the family, and vice versa.
This mutual dependency is, in fact, one of the major reasons for families being in
business together. Success becomes a double success; growth of the business
engenders family pride. Familiarity breeds trust, and family members can spend time
together. These positive overlaps alone may be the major reason for the preponderance
The Family / Business Overlap
| Barry Graff |
of family-owned businesses in the United States.
However, this overlap can also be a source of great stress. How do you tell your son or daughter, brother, sister or
spouse, that they are not doing a good job? When a father and son clash over a strategic business decision, is this
based upon different views of their market, differences in management styles that are generationally based, a good
old-fashioned father-son struggle for power and control, or a mutual seeking of recognition, acceptance, and even
closeness?
Helping to understand and answer these questions is the primary function of the family business consultant,
especially those who assist with the process of change in family businesses. An example is when a family is
attempting to pass the business to the next generation. Times of change are full of excitement, tension, and
confusion which tends to increase the amount of overlap between family and business, and blur that which is
already difficult to distinguish.
Examples of "family" versus "business" can be: Transition in management and leadership of company (business)
versus aging and death of older generation (family); Choosing a competent successor (business) versus feeling
accepted and recognized by parents (especially father) (family); Dividing ownership equitably, including recognizing
each individual's contribution to the business (business) versus feeling equally loved by parents (family); Letting go
of roles, relationships, and connections to the (business) versus defining the new relationships of the latter stages of
life (family); Assigning the key roles to non-family mem-bers (business); versus defining family loyalty (family).
As the family struggles to differentiate and resolve these issues, a number of themes frequently appear. One of
these is triangulation. Simply put, this is the tendency in relationships to pull a third person into a problem when the
two people involved feel stuck in resolving it.
Unfortunately, this is often done unilaterally and indirectly, so that when A and B are stuck, one or both approach C
to complain about the other. The most frequent triangle family business consultants encounter is Father/Son/Mother
even when mom is not playing an important role in business.
Dad's "business" message to son may be,"I need to be sure that you are competent before I turn
However, this overlap can also be a source of great stress. How do you tell your son or daughter, brother, sister or
spouse, that they are not doing a good job? When a father and son clash over a strategic business decision, is this
based upon different views of their market, differences in management styles that are generationally based, a good
old-fashioned father-son struggle for power and control, or a mutual seeking of recognition, acceptance, and even
closeness?
Helping to understand and answer these questions is the primary function of the family business consultant,
especially those who assist with the process of change in family businesses. An example is when a family is
attempting to pass the business to the next generation. Times of change are full of excitement, tension, and
confusion which tends to increase the amount of overlap between family and business, and blur that which is
already difficult to distinguish.
Examples of "family" versus "business" can be: Transition in management and leadership of company (business)
versus aging and death of older generation (family); Choosing a competent successor (business) versus feeling
accepted and recognized by parents (especially father) (family); Dividing ownership equitably, including recognizing
each individual's contribution to the business (business) versus feeling equally loved by parents (family); Letting go
of roles, relationships, and connections to the (business) versus defining the new relationships of the latter stages of
life (family); Assigning the key roles to non-family mem-bers (business); versus defining family loyalty (family).
As the family struggles to differentiate and resolve these issues, a number of themes frequently appear. One of
these is triangulation. Simply put, this is the tendency in relationships to pull a third person into a problem when the
two people involved feel stuck in resolving it.
Unfortunately, this is often done unilaterally and indirectly, so that when A and B are stuck, one or both approach C
to complain about the other. The most frequent triangle family business consultants encounter is Father/Son/Mother
even when mom is not playing an important role in business.
Dad's "business" message to son may be,"I need to be sure that you are competent before I turn
leadership over to you." (which may mean, lead like I do). Son hears the "family" message, "You've never really
been the kind of son (man) I wanted you to be." Dad goes to mom to complain about son's anger and
disruptiveness with employees (business), and mom empathizes with her son's need for recognition (family). Son
goes to mom to complain that dad is not supportive, and never has been (family), and mom, concerned about the
business that she helped dad successfully build, tells son he has to try harder (business).
Barry Graff is an organizational consultant with RSM McGladrey’s Family Business Group/ Management
Development Institute, and is based in San Diego. He has a Ph.D. in psychology and uses his expertise to help
businesses with succession planning as well as organizational and leadership development
been the kind of son (man) I wanted you to be." Dad goes to mom to complain about son's anger and
disruptiveness with employees (business), and mom empathizes with her son's need for recognition (family). Son
goes to mom to complain that dad is not supportive, and never has been (family), and mom, concerned about the
business that she helped dad successfully build, tells son he has to try harder (business).
Barry Graff is an organizational consultant with RSM McGladrey’s Family Business Group/ Management
Development Institute, and is based in San Diego. He has a Ph.D. in psychology and uses his expertise to help
businesses with succession planning as well as organizational and leadership development
Barry Graff is an organizational consultant with RSM McGladrey’s Family Business Group/Management
Development Institute, and is based in San Diego. He has a Ph.D. in psychology and uses his expertise to help
businesses with succession planning as well as organizational and leadership development. For further information
or to contact Barry call 619-516-1110 or email barry.graff@rsmi.com
Development Institute, and is based in San Diego. He has a Ph.D. in psychology and uses his expertise to help
businesses with succession planning as well as organizational and leadership development. For further information
or to contact Barry call 619-516-1110 or email barry.graff@rsmi.com
The Sanitation Journal is a monthly trade publication that caters to the portable restroom industry. Each month
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Subscribe today and make sure you never miss an issue.
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